Image Consultant Sandy Dumont - The Image Architect

Are You Your Worst Enemy

Written by Sandy Dumont, Corporate Image Consultant

Most men freely admit that they may not know what looks good on them. That’s why they usually depend on their tailor to pick out shirts, ties, and suits for them. Women, on the other hand, tell me they know exactly what looks good on them. They are usually wrong. And it is often a big mistake for men to rely on your tailor or department store salesperson to tell you what looks good on you.

With thirty years’ experience working with people and helping them discover how to improve their image, I am convinced that people choose colors and styles from their “heart and soul” and not from the results in the mirror. Think I’m exaggerating? You only have to go to my website (see below) and take a look at the before and after photos. Not a single person came to me with the express idea of dressing in the wrong colors or styles so they could give me a really great before photo. Most of them dressed in their favorite garments.

So how do we get off the track? First of all, the colors that we like in our “heart and soul” are not always the ones that were in our heart and soul when we were a small child. Most often, the colors we choose are those that made us feel safe. We don’t always want to stand out because we can get picked on or chosen to do chores we don’t want to do. Better to remain invisible!

In my own case, from my earliest memories I was drawn to the color purple. By the time I was eight or nine, I had collected small silk squares in various shades of purple. As an adult, I got rid of them all—except one, the brilliant red violet that resonated with me the most. It was packed away for about 20 years, and when I discovered it hidden in an old box, I delighted in it all over again. Since it brought me such pleasure, I wondered why I never wore the color. I reasoned that it appeared too bright and “show-offy.”

Then it occurred to me that my mother had always dressed her blonde daughter in washed-out pastels to “go” with my pale skin and hair. She never permitted me to choose a garment in the violet range since, she admonished, it was too bright for me. So, in my heart and soul, I wanted red violet, but in the recesses of my mind, I was not permitted to wear it. Soon it became habit to wear only subdued shades of purple. Finding that small silk scarf excited me, and I went out and bought a jacket in the same color. Compliments poured it, and I haven’t stopped wearing it since.

Chris, a male client, retired from the Navy and began an entry level job as a salesman. Realizing he had no experience with business dress, he called me for help. He reported that after the image session, his wife was dismayed and said, “You don’t look like my husband. You look like a stranger.” He reported that he wasn’t sure he felt good with his new look either; however, he told me he trusted me and would persist. It didn’t take long for his wife see the “new man in her life” as even nicer than the “old one.” Within a short period of time, he had changed jobs and doubled his salary. Chris didn’t just change his image. He discovered the “real Chris” that he was born to be. He now beams with confidence and pride.

What bad habits have you formed about forbidden colors of styles of dress? If you are a redhead, did your parents tell you never to wear red or purple? Did they put you in rust, camel, and apricot shades that “went” with your coloring? My experience indicates that redheads of all ages and sexes look great in red and purple. Do you have years of bad habits that you need to break?

The one thing I would caution against is dressing to “match” your superficial appearance, so if you have brown skin and hair, for example, stay away from jungle prints in brown tones. Choose instead black and white zebra prints. No matter what your coloring, make certain you have contrast with your skin. Image change is a process of unpeeling layers of habit. Changes of any kind require repetition, so don’t give up on the first try. If you keep at it, you will find the True You that you were born to be.

To view the original article in Tidewater Women, please visit here

by Sandy Dumont, THE Image Architect © 2008
Originally published in Tidewater Women, February 2008

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