The steep escalator of the underground train station ascended slowly toward the huge station terminal above. At the top of the escalator a model was handing out perfume samples from a nearby department store. As I only wore Chanel, I smiled to myself and got ready to reply, "No thank you."

To my shock, as I stepped off the escalator, she turned away from me and offered the perfume to another woman. How could this be? Why wouldn't she give me the perfume? After all, I'd done "cosmetic promotions" in my early days as a fledgling fashion model. The only people I didn't give makeup or perfume samples to were those who looked like they wouldn't be the least interested in makeup or perfume. In other words, they didn't look all that stylish.

Suddenly it occurred to me that I didn't look all that chic or elegant. I had just moved from Washington, D.C. to Leuven, Belgium, a university town about one hour away from Brussels. I didn't yet have a car, so I took the train to Brussels that day in order to have some papers notarized at the U.S. Embassy. As usual, it was rainy and cold, so I dressed for the weather. I put on an old wool beret and tucked my hair underneath it so it wouldn't get wet. No one knew me in all of Belgium except my husband, so I didn't wear earrings or bother much with makeup. I put on my jeans, a warm wool sweater and grabbed my husband's grunge-colored camouflage-green flight jacket and headed down the street to the train station. Not a glamorous sight, but what did it matter?

Ultimately, it did matter. Rejection isn't a thing you can just brush off, especially when you're not used to it. At least I hadn't been used to it in recent years. However, that incident brought me back to my teenage years when I was a painfully shy and insecure grey mouse that no one ever noticed. But here I was a grown, confident woman-a top model in Washington, D.C. It didn't feel good to be ignored, to be rejected.

Rather than let the incident get me down for the rest of the day, I resolved to never let it happen again. And it was a good decision for two reasons. First, I knew from past experience that by always looking polished and professional, I would be treated as if I were important. As a fashion model, I was used to dressing to the nines, and it hadn't escaped my notice that because of my appearance I got deferential treatment most of the time.

Secondly, and most importantly, I knew that I felt particularly good about myself when I was sure I looked good. Think about it. When you feel good about the way you look, do you think it affects your performance at work or elsewhere? Do you think it affects your confidence? And do you think the opposite is true? That is, when you don't feel good about the way you look, do you think your performance or confidence suffers?

Women who are supremely confident and successful tell me that when they are treated as if they were an unimportant "nobody," they feel unhappy. Dismissal and rejection are hard to swallow, no matter what. But it doesn't have to be that way. All it takes is the decision to look as dynamic on the outside as you are on the inside. After all, extraordinary products don't come wrapped in ordinary plain packages, do they? Marketing gurus are paid high salaries to design packaging that will sell products. It doesn't make the product any better, but it does increase the chances that consumers will notice the product and give it a higher regard.

Imagine that you own a shop and that three women enter at the same moment. Now you must decide which one you will help first. One has disheveled hair and is dressed in jeans and an orange T-shirt; another has a very stylish hairdo and is wearing a fashionable navy blue suit; and the third woman has a pageboy and is wearing a pair of black pants with a red turtleneck. Which woman would you help first? Would you think that you could keep one of the women waiting because she wasn't very important? To be treated with high regard, you must package yourself in a professional-looking manner.

Sandy Dumont, THE Image Architect is an image consultant and professional speaker based in Virginia Beach, with 30 years of international and national experience helping individuals and Fortune 500 companies improve their image. She conducts customized Branding for People™workshops on a regular basis.
For more information, visit www.theimagearchitect.com or call 757/627-6669.

To view the original article in Tidewater Women, please visit here

by Sandy Dumont, THE Image Architect © 2006
Originally published in Tidewater Women, March 2006